Philosophies

Modern society often avoids and denies death. We rely heavily on medical interventions to prolong life, creating a distorted relationship with mortality. In contrast, ancient cultures embraced death as a natural transition. They integrated rituals and spiritual beliefs that honored the cycle of life and death. The story of Lazarus represents the modern pursuit of miracles, seeking to escape death at all costs. Meanwhile, the Buddhist tale of Kisa, a grieving mother, illustrates the inevitability of death and the importance of accepting impermanence.

By combining these philosophies, we can better understand the need to balance medical advances with the acceptance of death. Normalizing discussions about death and incorporating ancient wisdom can support conscious dying. Resources like hospice care and death doulas allow for more meaningful end-of-life experiences. Conscious death planning empowers individuals and families to approach death with greater peace, fostering a compassionate, informed society.

How We Die: Embracing the Journey

We have spent millennia perfecting how to live well. Yet we scarcely spare a minute contemplating how to die well. In doing so, we find ourselves in an ironic predicament. While we live better than kings and queens of a century ago, we face death with greater distress than our ancestors. Many approach this inevitable transition with fear, anxiety, anger, and despair. Is this truly how we want to navigate the final chapter of our lives? We cannot deny our way out of dying. It is time to ignite a long-overdue change within ourselves.

In contemporary societies, death is often met with avoidance and denial. Many find it difficult to confront the reality of mortality, leading to a widespread taboo. This reluctance fosters psychological impacts, such as heightened anxiety and fear. People may feel unprepared to face their own mortality or the deaths of loved ones. This creates a cycle of avoidance that deepens their discomfort.

The pursuit of miracles through medical technology has become a hallmark of modern attitudes toward death. Many believe that advancements in medical science can defy death, prompting reliance on interventions designed to prolong life at all costs. While these breakthroughs have saved countless lives, they raise ethical debates about quality of life versus prolonging life. This emphasis on medical interventions can overshadow the natural process of dying. It creates a narrative that prioritizes fighting against death rather than accepting it as a part of life.

Cultural narratives perpetuated by the media complicate our understanding of death. Death is often glamorized or trivialized in films and television. Such portrayals can distort the emotional and spiritual significance of the dying process. This contributes to a lack of genuine understanding, fostering disconnection from the reality of death and grief.

Consider the story of Lazarus, a devoted follower of Jesus living in Bethany. When Lazarus fell gravely ill, his sisters, Mary and Martha, sent word to Jesus. They urged him to come quickly. Jesus, however, chose to delay his journey. He arrived to find Lazarus had been dead for four days. Martha lamented that if Jesus had come sooner, her brother might have been saved. Jesus declared, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he may die, shall live.”

In a moment laden with tension, Jesus approached the tomb. He instructed that the stone blocking the entrance be rolled away, despite Martha’s protest about the stench of decay. Jesus countered her fears with a powerful statement about faith. He then called Lazarus forth from the tomb. To the astonishment of the mourners, Lazarus emerged, still wrapped in grave clothes, alive once more.

“The Lazarus way” embodies our modern societal view of dying—rooted in the pursuit of miracles and the quest for medical breakthroughs. We have witnessed tremendous advancements in health and longevity. Yet, we cannot escape the truth that every one of us will ultimately die. Even Lazarus eventually died. No amount of scientific endeavor can change this reality. In our quest to avoid death, we often overlook the profound importance of end-of-life planning and support.

In contrast, ancient cultures offer rich perspectives that view death as a natural transition rather than an end. Many Indigenous practices throughout history have embraced death as part of a cyclical existence. Rituals centered around ancestor worship reflect a belief in continuity, where the deceased remain a vital part of the community. These practices highlight respect for the life cycle, encouraging individuals to engage with death as a significant aspect of life.

The Buddhist perspective on death provides another compelling lens. Buddhist teachings emphasize impermanence, illustrating that life and death are intertwined. Acceptance of death is vital for the spiritual journey. Practices such as mindfulness and meditation can help individuals cultivate peace as they approach mortality. By understanding life’s transient nature, Buddhism encourages individuals to embrace death rather than fear it.

The story of Kisa, a grieving mother in search of her deceased son, offers a profound lesson in acceptance. Overwhelmed by her loss, Kisa carried her son’s lifeless body from neighbor to neighbor. She desperately sought a remedy to restore him to life. Eventually, a neighbor directed her to Buddha. He instructed her to collect mustard seeds from households untouched by death. Hopeful, Kisa embarked on her quest. However, every household she visited had been touched by death.

As night fell, Kisa’s understanding deepened. She realized that death is not a singular experience confined to her or her village. It is a fundamental truth shared by all living beings. “The living are few, but the dead are many,” her neighbors explained. This echoed wisdom that transcends individual grief. With this newfound insight, Kisa buried her son. She returned to Buddha, acknowledging that she could find no mustard seeds because no home was free from death.

“The mustard seed way” teaches us about the acceptance of impermanence. Embracing this reality allows us to live each moment fully, cherishing life in its myriad forms. When death inevitably comes to dissolve this physical body, we can do so with loving detachment, having engaged deeply with life.

To address the challenges posed by modern views on death, we must advocate for its normalization in society. Death should be openly discussed and integrated into life, just like we celebrate birth and other milestones. Initiatives such as community dialogues and educational programs can help demystify death, promote acceptance, and increase awareness. By encouraging open conversations about death, we can empower individuals to face mortality with greater courage and less fear.

Integrating the wisdom of ancient cultures into modern dying practices can provide valuable insights. Creating space for rituals and honoring the dying process can help individuals and families navigate this profound transition with grace. Death doulas and hospice care play a crucial role in fostering conscious dying experiences. They adopt a holistic approach that considers physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. This approach encourages a deeper connection with the dying process. It allows individuals to experience death as a natural part of life.

Bridging the gap in understanding death in modern society requires a cultural shift. We must view death as an integral aspect of life. Embracing the concept of conscious dying can lead to healthier grieving processes and more meaningful end-of-life experiences. Through the conscious death and dying movement, we can create a compassionate society that supports individuals and families through the dying process and beyond.

The sharing of these two philosophies—the noble pursuit of longevity embodied in the story of Lazarus, alongside the acceptance of our ultimate impermanence represented by the mustard seed—encourages a meaningful embrace of both perspectives. In recognizing both the miraculous and the transient, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of how to live and die well. We can utilize effective death resources and establish thoughtful death plans that reflect our values and beliefs.