Ryan was 17 when he was diagnosed with cancer.
It would have been devastating to anyone at any age, let alone a senior in high school, full of hopes and dreams for the future. The days following the news, Ryan and his parents waited for biopsy results in agony. Then one night, Ryan woke up in cold sweat, yet felt an overwhelming sense of calmness. An inner voice whispered – “Life is fleeting and precious. There is no point in wasting time by worrying about something you have no control over.” For Ryan, this inner voice was God reminding him to live life to the fullest.
Ryan recognized that little voice – it was the same one that told him to get a second opinion when his first doctor dismissed his symptoms. Ryan had learned to trust that little voice; it saved his life once already. Suddenly, as if a huge weight fell off his shoulders, he felt free for the first time since hearing the devastating news.
In the days that followed, Ryan transformed. He became carefree, present and joyful. It was as if he were living his best life! Ryan’s parents believed that he was in denial, because what else could it be? How could anyone behave so calmly and joyfully when faced with the possibility of death? Yet, they accepted Ryan’s new approach to life, recognizing this was better than succumbing to despair.
Finally the results came back: it was a benign tumor, and because they caught it early (thank you, little inner voice), Ryan made a full recovery following a timely surgery.
Let me briefly share how Ryan and I met. Earlier this year, after being laid off from my job, Ryan was assigned to me as my outplacement coach. While discussing my career change to pursue my passion for conscious death and dying, Ryan shared his near-death experience with me. I was blown away by his story, and felt compelled to share it with others, hoping the wisdom of his experience might inspire others as it inspired me.
Today Ryan is a husband and father of two lovely children. When asked about the life lessons from his near death experience, he shared the following insights with me.
Open To Your Intuition
Modern science often emphasizes the idea that “what we can’t prove doesn’t exist”. Yet many of us have had our “sixth sense” moments to question that. Ryan’s inner voices saved his life twice – first by prompting him to get a second opinion, and then helping him find emotional peace in such adversity. His story reminded us to honor our intuition as a powerful guide.
Living Authentically and Pursue Your Dreams
Buddhism talks about Discerning Wisdom, a mental clarity that allows us to distinguish between:
- The truth of life versus the conventional appearances of the world.
- Making ethical decisions that leads to one’s liberation from suffering.
- Seeing through the delusions created by our mind.
In a way, Ryan embodied this principle – live authentically vs. subscribing to social expectations.
Quoting Ryan, “Life is fleeting, you have no time to waste on playing games”. He focused on what gave his life meaning – family, relationships, dreams and passions. Travel had been a passion of his since he was a child, so in the past 20+ years Ryan had visited almost all of the 50 states of the US, exploring the various subcultures within the country, weaving these experiences into the fabric of his life.
When we live authentically, we no longer burden ourselves with others’ opinions of us. Instead we beat our own drums, live our personal truths, even if it goes against the societal tide.
Read about Life Review and Legacy Project
There Is Sacredness Behind Every Adversity
Years ago, I read A New Earth by the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, who shared with the world his teachings on mindfulness, acceptance and transcending the egoic mind. I found one of his many insightful teachings really resonated with Ryan’s experience: “There is sacredness behind every adversity”.
Ryan brought up another perspective from Steve Colbert’s 2015 interview with GQ, where Steve reflected upon his loss of his father and two brothers at the age of 10:
“It’s a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There’s no escaping that. I guess I’m either a Catholic or a Buddhist when I say those things because I’ve heard those from both traditions. But I didn’t learn it that way. I learned it by experiencing loss. That loss is a gift. My mother knew that was true. She had to know it, or she could not live. So, she experienced an almost stoic acceptance of her suffering, and I think I got that from her.”
Ryan saw the same truth from his own near death experience. His acceptance of potential death, his insights and subsequent decisions to pursue his passion, and his determination to live authentically. He is a living testament to the sacredness hidden within our most challenging moments.
Acceptance of Death And Dying
When we accept death, we accept life holistically. I believe that the fear of death is the root of many phobias, irrational fears and moral diseases. When we muster the courage to accept that one day we all will die, we can then face it head on, research the topic, gather resources and plan a good death. With death being a faithful and compelling reminder of the preciousness of life, how else would we live our life other than fully?
Having come close to death’s door, Ryan has fully embraced life’s impermanence and feels grateful for every moment he has. His experience also influenced his family to be open to the topics of death and dying, which is a gift of its own.
Read about Death Philosophies and Spiritual Beliefs
Conclusion
I hope you find Ryan’s story as inspiring as I do. At 17, Ryan faced what many would consider a crushing death sentence, yet he miraculously found peace by accepting life’s impermanence. He embraced every moment and found sacredness even in adversity. While some fear death even after a long and full life, Ryan used his experience as a reminder to live in the NOW.
May his story inspire you to listen to your intuition, live authentically, and find the sacredness in every challenge.
