Death is often a taboo subject in many modern societies. We focus our lives on living well and achieving personal success, while death is quietly avoided, creating an uneasy relationship with the inevitable. In reality, while we now live healthier and longer than many of our ancestors or even royalty from a century ago, we die less peacefully. The fear, anxiety, and denial that surrounds death in contemporary life reflects our discomfort with the concept of mortality. However, avoiding the subject does not make death any less certain. Instead, a shift towards Conscious Death and Dying is needed. By considering two approaches to death — the Lazarus way and the Mustard Seed way — we can better prepare ourselves for the end of life and the emotions that accompany it.
The Lazarus Way of Dying
The “Lazarus Way” of dying, inspired by the biblical story of Lazarus, embodies our modern desire to overcome death through medicine, science, and technology. In the story, Lazarus is resurrected by Jesus after being dead for four days, symbolizing the hope of divine intervention or miraculous recovery. This story has parallels with modern society’s approach to dying, where advancements in medicine allow us to extend life and combat illness in ways previously unimaginable. We pursue life-saving treatments, groundbreaking cures, and scientific innovation in the hope of delaying death. This can be seen in the growing emphasis on life-extending technologies, experimental procedures, and the development of anti-aging therapies.
Despite these advancements, death is ultimately unavoidable. Even with the progress in medical science, humans face their own mortality. The Lazarus way represents a resistance to this reality. While the pursuit of longer life and health should be celebrated, the unrelenting quest for miracles can sometimes lead to a prolonged struggle in the face of death, creating a cycle of hope and despair as one approaches the end of life. In modern medicine, this might look like patients receiving aggressive treatments long past the point of medical benefit, driven by the hope that life can still be extended. However, the Lazarus way of dying is ultimately limited by our human frailty, as no miracle, no matter how advanced, can truly prevent death from coming. Having access to end of life resources and end of life support can help individuals and their families navigate these difficult decisions with compassion and understanding.
The Mustard Seed Way of Dying
The “Mustard Seed Way” offers a contrasting approach, rooted in a Buddhist parable about a grieving mother named Kisa Gotami. After the death of her only child, Kisa seeks a way to bring him back to life and is instructed by Buddha to collect mustard seeds from households that have never been touched by death. As she searches, she realizes that every home has experienced the loss of a loved one. Death is universal, and Kisa learns to accept this truth, calming her grief and letting go of her child with love and understanding. This approach teaches that death is an integral part of life, not something to resist or fear, but rather to accept with grace. Preparing for death with death planning can help ease the burden on those left behind and ensure that one’s wishes are respected in the end.
In the Mustard Seed way, we recognize the impermanence of all living things. Instead of resisting or avoiding death, we embrace it as a natural part of life’s cycle. This doesn’t mean living without attachment, but rather living fully and completely aware that all things, including ourselves, are temporary. By accepting this truth, we can cultivate a loving detachment, which allows us to approach death without fear. It encourages us to cherish life and its moments, while also preparing to let go when the time comes. Kisa’s story symbolizes how grief, when intertwined with wisdom and acceptance, can transform into peace. Taking steps in death preparation can help individuals achieve this sense of peace and acceptance, both for themselves and for their loved ones.
Integrating the Two Approaches
While the Lazarus way and the Mustard Seed way seem opposite, they are not mutually exclusive. Both approaches offer important lessons. The Lazarus way teaches us to value life and pursue every opportunity to live fully, while the Mustard Seed way reminds us that death is inevitable and should be accepted with loving detachment. Integrating these perspectives allows us to improve the quality of our lives, knowing that while we strive to live well, we can also face death peacefully when it arrives. Accepting the certainty of death, without being consumed by it, frees us to live life to the fullest.
